WELCOME TO REFRESH!
BLOGGING 101: FOCUS
I was first exposed to the world of blogging when, in the summer of 2008, I was living at home between my Jr. and Sr. years of college, working a kind of boring job and sort of just stumbled across fashion blogs. I ended up landing on The Clothes Horse and was incredibly inspired. I was reaching a point in my life where I was less self conscious and wanted to express myself more, especially when it came to personal style. Plus, there were all these really cool girls with blogs, and I wanted to be able to interact with them and comment on their blogs. So, I started my own, pretty much the same day I discovered blogging! I knew from the start that I wanted my blog to be a style blog. I slowly started getting into posting outfits, and posted wishlists of things I really wanted to get. As I continued blogging I refined my personal style and started really enjoying taking outfit photos. I also wanted my blog to reflect who I was, and so naturally I decided to include some text about my daily goings-on, my artwork, and other inspiration. I think my blog still retains a lot of the same focus as it did when I started it. I now post every day and it's probably evolved a bit, simply because I've grown up some since 2008 and new things happen in my life which affect the content of my blog (the Brave, living in Alaska, moving to Tacoma, falling in love, etc.), but I still love posting outfits, and I think most people would classify my blog as a personal style blog.
An important step to take when you're starting out as a blogger is to determine a focal point for your blog. Granted, you don't have to limit yourself to just one thing. Some bloggers have found success in covering a range of topics. Emily from Cupcakes & Cashmere has found a niche in covering both food and fashion. Elsie from A Beautiful Mess has everything from DIY, to fashion, to inspiration, to decor. The important thing is to give everything a cohesive feel. And even more important is to post about what you really feel passionately about. If you're not into runway fashion, but see a lot of bloggers posting images from the latest fashion week collections and think you have to do that to be a fashion blogger, think again! If you don't care about your content, your readers will notice and your blog will feel stale and contrived. Plus, you'll enjoy it considerably less if you post things that you have no interest in!
It might help to take a few minutes to sit down and write out things that you really enjoy. Then, after you consider those things, decide which things you would enjoy incorporating into your blog. For a while, my blog focused almost exclusively on outfit posts. Occasionally I would post something about my life, or art, or something else I found interesting, but for the most part I focused my blog on personal outfit posts. Some people love fashion, but are not really interested in posting about their own style, so they post inspiration photos, or street style. It's all about determining what direction you want to go in with your blog, and that's all dependent upon who you are!
This e-conference has a focus on fashion/personal style blogs simply because that's what Tieka and I have been blogging about for years and feel most knowledgeable in, but almost all of the information presented should be helpful to anyone looking to improve their blog, no matter what the focus. So don't think that this conference is going to teach you to be a certain kind of blogger, it's all about you figuring out what you want your own blog to be about, and then using the tools we present to make it the best blog you can make it!
One important thing to keep in mind, as you blog, is that you are a human being and by necessity, you will change. As you grow and change, so will your interests. Don't let your blog keep you from that necessary growth. Don't pretend to be interested in something that you aren't anymore. Don't let your blog hold you back from growing. Let it grow and shift with you. You might lose some followers by not posting as much of what they've grown to expect from you, but that's never a good excuse to keep yourself in a shell you've outgrown. Make your blog work for you, not the other way around!
second photo by arrow & apple
second photo by arrow & apple
BLOGGING 101: VOICE
Unless you are strictly a photo blogger, it's likely you will be composing some sort of text in your post. Are you going to be a more verbose blogger, or are you going to let your photos do the talking? What kind of voice are you going to take? Colloquial, as Vintage Virgin does-- or more poetic, such as the way Rebecca from The Clothes Horse composes her posts? I like to write my posts in a very accessible way, very much the way I talk. I think this makes my blog a little bit more personal and helps my readers to get to know me more.
Take time to consider what you want to write about in your posts. Will you write about what's going on in your life? If so, how much are you comfortable revealing to the wide world of the internet? It takes some balls to put yourself out there with honesty, so be prepared for the occasional mean comment, it's the price you have to pay for broadcasting your life on the web. Just remember that the haters aren't the people who matter! They've made a conscious decision to bring negativity into the world instead of bringing a positive attitude. Plus, you have exponentially more people who give you positive comments. Focus on that!
Don't let it scare you from being genuine though. Bring your voice to the blogging community because no one has your voice, it is 100% yours. If you look around the proverbial blogging room and feel like you have nothing unique to offer, just think about how you are totally unique. There is no other blogger (or human being, for that matter) who can be you- who can say things the way you do, who has the life experience you have, who has the same creativity as you do. That's important! Never forget it.
Take some time to think about your limits. Will you swear on your blog? Will you talk about loved ones and friends? Will you post about your faith or politics? Will you talk about being a vegetarian or vegan?
Another thing to remember about writing online is that you don't have your tone of voice, inflection, or body language to help people understand you. All you have is text and photos, so make sure what you write comes across as clearly as possible, especially if you're trying to write about something important or controversial. Misunderstanding can happen easily on the internet simply because you don't have those physical and verbal cues to aid in understanding. Learn to communicate yourself accurately and effectively through your writing. This is kind of a learn-by-trial-and-error process. If it seems like people are frequently missing your point, not getting out of your post what you meant for them to get out of it, or taking what you're saying the wrong way, you may want to evaluate your writing and try to work on communicating better through writing.
Most important: be yourself. Don't write like another blogger just because you think that writing like them will get you lots of followers like them. Be you. Be confident enough in yourself that you don't have to emulate someone else for people to like you!
Most important: be yourself. Don't write like another blogger just because you think that writing like them will get you lots of followers like them. Be you. Be confident enough in yourself that you don't have to emulate someone else for people to like you!
BLOGGING 101: WHAT KIND OF BLOGGER ARE YOU?
In order to get in the mood for this session, why don't we all sit back and blast The Who's Who Are You? Just kidding. Well, you can if you want to, I won't stop you.
Blogging is a huge, I mean enormous, realm out there on the interwebs. There are blogs about pretty much anything you can think of, encompassing pretty much every nook and cranny of any topic. Food (cooking/restaurant critics/beer/coffee/etc), politics (Republican/Democrat/conservative/green/etc.), fashion (high fashion/celebrity critics/runway/personal style/street style/etc.), wedding (DIY/eco-friendly/high-end/low-budget/etc.).... and the list goes on and on. You can probably bet that if you're blogging about it, someone else is also blogging about it.
This might seem depressing at first, knowing that there are thousands of bloggers out there among whom you're attempting to make your mark. What is it that makes a blog get noticed? What is it that makes one blog grow and another not? It can seem, at times, like it's just some magical "it" factor that some people have, and that if you are not possessing this mystical it-ness, then your hopes of a growing blog are in vain. I don't believe that to be true. I also don't believe that a successful blog looks like just one thing. There are a ton of different ways a blog can be successful and that mainly has to do with your own concept of what success is.
Some people might see their blog's success in terms of monetizing. That is, if you can make money off your blog, then it's successful-- and all the better if you can quit your day job and blog full time. Other people seek to have large quantities of followers. Some people desire to have large blogs mention them, or get their photo featured on a favorite site (think getting your living room makeover featured on Design*Sponge or Apartment Therapy. Or maybe getting your photo snapped by the Sartorialist, or your wedding on Style Me Pretty). Some people want tons of comments on their posts. Other people just love to share their content and could care less about accolades based on quantity of daily visitors to their site, or how many are subscribing to their site.
So success comes in many shapes, sizes and colors. It's important to decide for yourself what your concept of success is. A lot of people will want to foist upon you their idea of what success is, so you need to know for yourself what your goals are for blogging and what it means to you to be a success at what you do. For some of you that might mean producing great content and putting it out there to share with the world. For others, it might mean getting paid sponsorships. It's important to respect that there are a variety of different goals for blogging. Some people see monetizing as a bad thing and could tell you that you're "selling out" for monetizing, and on the flip side some people also might tell you you're silly if you choose to not take sponsors. It's likely you'll get critiqued no matter what you do, so be true to yourself!
The beauty of blogging is that it's fluid. Your blog doesn't have to stay the same, with the same kind of content for its entire existence. While my blog's content has stayed relatively consistent over the years, it has also fluctuated quite a bit as well. For the first two years of my blog, posts were pretty exclusively daily outfit posts. Once I started moving towards going on my Brave trip, I focused more on that and once I was actually on the road, I had quite a few more road-tripping posts than outfit posts. Now my blog is a mix of lifestyle, DIY and personal style (and recently, wedding planning!). Staying true to yourself is important. If you're trying to blog about something that used to interest you, but no longer does, people will be able to tell that your posts don't come from the heart. Not only will your readers be able to tell, blogging also won't be fulfilling to you! I say, what's the point in blogging if you don't enjoy it?
If you're just starting out on your blogging adventure, take time to sit down and brainstorm what interests you have that you want to blog about and what you want to focus on. If you've already been blogging for a while, take a look at your blog and see what parts of it you love and what isn't working and cut out the stuff that you don't love! No sense in spending time posting about it if you don't love it! You can also take a look at your life and see where your interests are shifting and if maybe your blog is lagging behind this shift. I spent some time hanging out with one of my favorite bloggers last year and she was doing just this! She had grown her blog on DIY projects and scrapbooking, but was phasing out of that part of her life and into more focus on vintage and fashion. She's made a beautiful transition-- still keeping the parts of her blog that she loved about it when it focused more on DIY stuff, but infusing vintage fashion and style!
Whether you're just starting out, or you've been blogging for a while, I encourage you to get out a pen and paper (or... a word document and keyboard) and answer the following questions:
1. What are you passionate about? What do you feel like you would be able to post about all the time?
2. Do you want your blog to have a narrow focus or a broad spread of topics? (ex. just a food blog vs. including recipes, outfits, and lifestyle posts)
3. Would you like your blog to be monetized? Why or why not?
4. How do you gauge the success of your blog?
5. Think of your favorite blogs, what is it about those blogs that makes you love them? Can you learn something from those blogs that you can apply to yours?
1. Fashion. You can do several things with fashion. You can post personal outfit posts, images from an upcoming line that you love, photos from a magazine or online photos you found that you love, wish lists of items you'd like to purchase, ways to put together outfits, video blogs on how to style a dress, the possibilities are endless! Choosing a broad topic like fashion will give you many options for posts so you shouldn't run out of ideas!
2. Cooking. A lot of bloggers mix cooking with fashion or DIY posts! Even though, they may not go hand-in-hand, they are both creative and give you a lot of options to work with! You could feature a weekly recipe, show what you cooked for dinner last night, do a review of a cute restaurant or do a product review of something you use while cooking. Even though I don't read blogs like Jen Loves Kev for cooking, I am always interested in reading her Last Night's Dinner posts!
3. Vintage. Let's say you love vintage. It ties in really nice with fashion and personal style, but also opens up your blog to a whole other audience. You could post on cute vintage items you found thrifting, you could show how to clean up or repair a vintage item, you could talk about what to look for when shopping vintage, etc.! Plus, maybe someday you could open your own Etsy shop to sell vintage items? Again, endless possibilities. I'm very much inspired by Sally Jane Vintage for this style of blog.
There are so many different things your blog can be. It can be a fashion blog (which can even hone down to a shoe blog, a runway fashion blog, a beauty blog, but make sure you don't limit yourself too much that you run out of topics within the first month!). It can be a food blog (pastries, paleo, vegan, smoothies). You can blog about being a parent (dealing with parenting a special needs child, kid friendly craft projects, homeschooling) And, what I think is awesome, is that you can mix and combine themes! There are amazing blogs out there that mix fashion and DIY, baking and sewing, vintage and film reviews. Just remember to take what you love and what you're passionate about and try to stick to those topics. If you choose a topic you're not passionate about, you'll run out of ideas and become uninspired. We don't want that to happen!
The tagline on my blog says "Style. Life. Adventures." My blog started off as primarily a personal style blog sharing my daily outfits, but as I grew and changed I wanted to share more about my life and passions. Now my blog combines personal style outfit posts, recipes, trips and adventures I go on, essays on topics I feel are important, home decor and renovation posts, DIY projects, and more! While I would've characterized my blog as a Style Blog a few years ago, I now fall solidly in the Lifestyle Blog category. Lifestyle blogs generally share all parts of someone's life. A great example of a super successful lifestyle blog is Bleubird. She shares everything from recipes, to stories about her children, to personal style. Another great example is The Daybook. Both of these blogs really capture the blogger's voice and when you go to their blogs you almost feel like you're walking into her living room and getting to know her.
Make sure you figure out what makes you unique. You don't want to take your favorite blogger's blog and replicate it. You'll never stand out. You need to find what makes you you and work on it. Take your passions and embrace them in every aspect of your blog... from content, to blog design, to features! Nobody can tell you what your theme will be, it's the biggest thing YOU have to figure out. Take what you're passionate about… and write about it. Find your niche in the blogging community!
Blogs that lack theme, purpose or thought can be boring or get lost. Readers won't know what to expect when they come to your blog and will quickly click off if they don't find what they are looking for within the first five seconds. Find your purpose and clearly state it on your blog and showcase it within every post.
1. Create a name for your blog that will encompass all of your passions you will be writing about! I chose Delightfully Tacky because it perfectly describes my interests, style, and personality. Who I am is, in a way, synonymous with Delightfully Tacky. I love it because it doesn't take things too seriously.
2. Create a tagline! Say your blog is called "Flight of Fancy" and your tagline is… fashion, travel and everything fancy. You could post on fashion, what to pack while traveling, travel posts, photography, cute themed posts. You could even decorate your blog according to your theme and tagline! A tagline really helps readers know right away if they want to read your blog. Let's say one of the biggest aspects of your blog is writing reviews on films, but you don't really let readers know that you'll be doing so, they might be put off when you keep posting on film reviews and maybe they'll stop following. Be clear about your purpose!
3. The biggest thing is… how would you describe your blog to your mom, or friend, or co-worker? It should be very easy to define. "What is your blog about?" "Oh, you'd love it! It's about fashion, baking and travel!" "Oh, wow, I love fashion, baking & travel, I'll definitely check it out!". If your blog is a hundred different things, you might not have the focus and drive to keep at it, so don't overwhelm yourself with trying to cover too many topics. Keep it simple, driven and with a real purpose!
BLOGGING 101: WRITING YOUR "ABOUT" PAGE
Mini Bio Section
Since your About page is about you and your blog, it's probably a good idea to include at least a little section giving people a mini bio of yourself. You can include what you blog about, things you like, where you are in life (student, married, mother, etc), your career, where you live (if you feel comfortable disclosing your general location), and so on.
F.A.Q. Section
A great thing to include in your About page is an F.A.Q. section. Oftentimes you'll get a lot of the same questions asked of you and by including the answers to those types of questions in your F.A.Q. you can avoid having to answer it over and over. You can also use formspring or a general call for questions people would like answered to find questions for your F.A.Q. You might discover some things people were wondering that you'd never thought to share before!
Favorite posts
I like to include links to some of my favorite or most popular posts, so if people are just starting to read my blog and might have missed some of my favorite posts from the past, they can check them out! On my blog, this is actually on a separate page from my About page-- my Start Here! page, which I created as sort of a mini About for people who've just discovered my blog.
Info for sponsors
Potential sponsors will often go to a blogger's About Me page to find out more about how they can sponsor. It's good to include a link over to the page you've created with all your sponsorship info, so potential sponsors can find the information they're looking for.
Your contact info
Don't forget to let people know what your contact info is! Make sure to include your email address and if you haven't elsewhere on your blog, link to your blog's facebook page and twitter.
Fun pictures!
Because reading a huge block of text is no fun. Include some fun photos of yourself (this is, after all your about ME page. Haha!)
BONUS: 50 IDEAS FOR BLOG POSTS
3. Your favourite recipe
4. The day you left home on a huge trip or to move away
5. The hardest thing you’ve ever been through, and how you coped
7. Top 5 pet peeves
8. Take a photo an hour during your day
9. Your most excruciatingly embarrassing moment.
11 A letter to your teenaged self. What advice would you give?
12. Why you started blogging/your favorite thing about blogging
13. The most difficult decision you’ve ever made. Write from the heart.
15. A letter to a family member or future child
16. The last thing that made you cry
17. Your earliest or favorite childhood memory
19. Write a how-to post on something you know a lot about
20. Write an FAQ post. This could be questions you get asked about your blog, or questions you get asked by your kids over and over again. Think outside the box.
21. Your top 5 favorite bags/dresses/looks/hair-dos/shoes right now
22. Pinterest DIY's you're planning on trying
23 Word vomit. What’s on your mind right now
24. Who people think you are, compared to who you really are
25. A guide to the town you live in
26. Where you'd move if nothing was stopping you
27. A response to a popular blog post written by someone else.
28. Write a review: on anything… a movie, a book you just read, an App
29. Find your most popular blog post and then write a second series of it, or an update on it
30. Do a DIY or a tutorial. A step-by-step guide on how to make or do something
31. Set a goal or a list of goals, and a plan on how to get there
32. Share photos of your home
33. Share a post with the top 5 blogs you adore
35. Do a "Currently" post: currently reading, watching, anticipating, excited about, dreading, etc.
36. Share something your kid just did that's hilarious, inspiring, makes you proud, makes you facepalm..
37. Set a timer for 10 minutes and just start writing
38. Go on a roadtrip and share your experience
39. Do a video blog! Readers love finding out how you sound/look like when you talk
40. Share a mistake you learned from
41. Do something out of your comfort zone and write about the experience
37. Set a timer for 10 minutes and just start writing
38. Go on a roadtrip and share your experience
39. Do a video blog! Readers love finding out how you sound/look like when you talk
40. Share a mistake you learned from
41. Do something out of your comfort zone and write about the experience
42. Create a new regular feature
43. Something that happened that pretty much changed your life forever
44. Write about a cause you're passionate about supporting
45. Make a mixtape of songs you're currently loving
46. Do a remix post of all the outfits you've posted wearing a certain item
47. Ask readers to submit ideas for posts or questions they'd like you to answer on your blog
48. Do a monthly/quarterly feature sharing a blogger/blog you're inspired by
49. Ask readers for advice on something
50. Share a book or movie that moved you or shifted your perspective
43. Something that happened that pretty much changed your life forever
44. Write about a cause you're passionate about supporting
45. Make a mixtape of songs you're currently loving
46. Do a remix post of all the outfits you've posted wearing a certain item
47. Ask readers to submit ideas for posts or questions they'd like you to answer on your blog
48. Do a monthly/quarterly feature sharing a blogger/blog you're inspired by
49. Ask readers for advice on something
50. Share a book or movie that moved you or shifted your perspective
BLOGGING 101: ETHICS + ETIQUETTE
The topic of ethics in blogging is one that is slowly finding its balance. Since blogging is a relatively new medium with roots in both journalism and art, it's definitely had (and will continue to have) growing pains. Jennine Jacobs, founder of Independent Fashion Bloggers and The Coveted, has spent a lot of time working through the issues of ethics in blogging-- including having one of the panels of the Feb 2010 IFB Evolving Influence Conference focus exclusively on the topic. It was a very interesting discussion with many viewpoints presented from both bloggers and professional journalists, and I highly recommend watching.I believe you should generally follow the mantra, "honesty is the best policy." As long as you are upfront with things, you should run across a lot fewer ethical and etiquette issues. Here are a few specific areas where ethics and etiquette are often involved:
Courtesy Items
For some of you, you'll have to deal with companies wanting to send you free things or writing sponsored posts. This is definitely an area that is pretty controversial when it comes to ethics. Some feel like accepting courtesy items will always negatively affect the content of a blog, making the blogger a shill for the company, believing that the blogger will no longer be able to write non-biased content regarding the company or products. I personally don't believe this is always the case, though I think the reason some people feel that way is due to the fact that they've seen it happen. My personal rule about courtesy items or sponsored content is to not do the post or accept an item if a) it doesn't fit my personal standards of quality or my aesthetic or b) it doesn't fit my blog's content.
I make an effort to remain honest and open about the items I receive. If an item is of sub-par quality, or isn't what I expected it to be, I'll tell my readers that. I never want to con my readers into buying something from one of my sponsors by misrepresenting it. Your readers will begin to realize your dishonesty and they will start to distrust you and your blog.
Legally, you must declare the kinds of advertising you do for profit. I always note when an item in an outfit post has been sent to me by a sponsor by saying it's "courtesy of" (some blogs abbreviate this as c/o) XYZ Company. It's important to do this, not only for legal reasons, but also to remain honest and up-front with your readers. Trust me, they'll always appreciate when you trust them with the truth.
You'll have to make a personal decision as to whether or not you want to monetize or accept free items. Think about yourself and decide whether you believe you'll be able to remain unbiased and honest. It's a big decision, so don't take it lightly! Bloggers who have poor etiquette and ethics in this area give all bloggers a bad name, so make sure to really take time to consider it.
Read the FAQ page or About Me page before asking
Read the FAQ page or About Me page before asking
This isn't a hard rule, and I would never want to discourage a reader from asking me any question, but if you have a question about someone's blog, make an effort to see if they've already answered your question in an FAQ page or something like that. FAQ pages are there specifically because people have already asked the blogger some questions. See if you have the same question as someone in the FAQ, it can save both you and the other blogger a lot of time!
Spam comments
When you comment on someone else's blog, do it genuinely. Don't say something like, "OMG cute shoes. Follow me? http://myblog.blogspot.com." It will always come off as insincere and self-serving. I almost never click through to their blog simply because it really bothers me that they didn't seem to even look at the post. If you really think someone would enjoy your blog or believe you two have a lot in common with your blogs, go ahead and send them an email saying how much you like their blog and that you'd really appreciate if they would check it out. I'll pretty much always check out a blog if someone takes the time to email me!
Make an effort to always source what you post. Say you do an inspiration post every week, always make sure you have an accurate link back to the creator of that image or product (don't just source ffffound.com, tumblr, pinterest, or weheartit, etc.). It's always nice to give the people who created those things credit for their hard work. It's also a nice way to send traffic their way. Remember to treat other people the way you'd want to be treated. If someone took a photo from your site and didn't source it back to you, you'd probably be kinda bummed out, right? Plus, this is a way to share more awesome artists, bloggers, and products with your readers, which they'll always appreciate! I usually give credit directly below the photo or content I shared with a link to the original source, like I have below the photo above.
Don't work for free
Or try really hard not to. Working for free in "exchange for" exposure is a great way to devalue your own work and makes it harder for other bloggers to charge for their hard work. If a company is asking you to post something it's because they recognize that you have an audience they want to reach. In any other situation the company would have to pay for that reach (via a magazine or website ad, or a tv commercial, etc), so don't let them bully you into giving them free exposure. Your work and your readers is a valuable asset, learn to value it and learn to be brave enough to ask them for compensation. Find bloggers with similar stats and subscribers and see if they post what they charge for different sponsored posts (feature posts, giveaways, styling an item, etc). If they don't post it publicly and you feel comfortable doing so, you can always email them politely asking for help with figuring out how much to charge for sponsored content. Again, try to do this with bloggers who are charging and have similar amount of readers/pageviews/etc, because a blog with more readers will naturally charge more since they are giving the company more exposure, and a blog with less readers will charge less than you should. Another rule I've heard from freelance workers (graphic designers, photographers, bloggers, etc) is to charge the amount that makes you cringe a little, the amount that makes you want to delete it and write in a lower number.
Auto playing music
Another "rule" that isn't hard, but I (and I know a lot of other people I've spoken to) find auto-playing music really obnoxious. For one, you're probably already listening to music, and when you open the person's page, some cacophonous noise is suddenly erupting from your computer when the two songs start playing simultaneously! Or you could be sitting in a quiet coffee shop or library when *blam!* someone's favorite song is all of a sudden blaring and everyone gives you the stink eye. If you want to share your favorite music, do it in a playlist post like Kaelah. It's a great way to share your music without forcing it upon everyone who opens your page.
Dealing with mean/anonymous comments/trolls/etc.
This is an area that you should expect to deal with when you start blogging. It's the internet. There are tons of crazies out there and people, for some reason or another (it's a mystery to me) looking to bring. you. down. Don't let them. My policy is always, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." If I don't like someone's blog, there's no need to write something mean or rude to them. Just don't go to their blog! Problem solved. Unfortunately, some people feel the need to tell you that they don't like you, or your blog. Don't let them get you down. Take the comment in stride and move on. Be graceful and rise above those people who would seek to bring negativity to your little corner of the internet. If you feel like you are a bit more sensitive to those comments, feel free to disable anonymous commenting! Or go ahead and require comment moderation. There's nothing wrong with doing that! However you feel you need to deal with in a healthy way. Consider placing a clearly stated comment policy somewhere on your blog so people know what you accept and what you don't Don't allow the mean comments to take over your mind when you've got so many more amazing comments from people who love your blog!
Links on ethics and etiquette to consider:
BLOGGING 101: DEALING WITH MEAN COMMENTS
Internet culture, for all it's perks and great community, comes with its drawbacks. One major drawback: rude commenters and anonymous haters. Building a blog will inherently bring these people. If you blog it, they will come. And unfortunately, the larger your audience, the more random trolls you'll come across. If there's 1 troll among 100 readers, then by the time you have 1000 readers, that number of unkind comments will increase as well.
I honestly feel badly for people who choose to spend their time perpetuating negativity online. Realize that whoever left the comment is another human being too, even if it doesn't feel like it. They probably have some stuff going on in their lives that drives them to do and say the things that they do. They need love just like the rest of us (even if it feels impossible to love someone who would say those things to or about you).
Here are some ways to deal with the comments you get on your blog which are hurtful:
I honestly feel badly for people who choose to spend their time perpetuating negativity online. Realize that whoever left the comment is another human being too, even if it doesn't feel like it. They probably have some stuff going on in their lives that drives them to do and say the things that they do. They need love just like the rest of us (even if it feels impossible to love someone who would say those things to or about you).
Here are some ways to deal with the comments you get on your blog which are hurtful:
1. Determine if they're just crazy trolls who have nothing of value to say, or if they actually have a good point and maybe just said it in a really mean or rude way.
2. Figure out the healthiest way for you (YOU, not another blogger. Everyone is different in how they can handle/deal with these comments) to deal with mean comments. Maybe you have a policy where you just immediately delete them and don't acknowledge them at all. Maybe you moderate all your comments before they get published. Maybe you just leave them up and ignore them. Decide how you feel it's most healthy for you to deal with them.
3. It's YOUR blog. You don't have to allow mean comments if you don't want to. If people tell you that "you can't take the heat," just ignore them. It's a deeply personal decision. I personally decide on a case by case basis whether or not to delete a mean comment. If it's just totally ridiculous and pointless, or if it's attacking another commenter, or just plain offensive, I'll probably delete it. If they're (rudely) trying to point out something or start a discussion, I might reply. Sometimes people just miss-read or didn't understand what I was saying, and it's easy enough to correct their misunderstanding.
4. Don't internalize mean commenters' statements. Just because someone tells you something, that doesn't make it true. I've had people tell me I'm ugly, I'm boring, my photos are awful, I'm codependent now that I'm married, etc etc. But those things aren't true, and believing and internalizing them will only cripple my ability to be who I truly am.
5. RE: #4 – recognize that those people don't know you. They only know the blog version of you which isn't a complete picture of who you are. The opinions about you which matter are the opinions of those closest to you, which probably won't end up being your blog commenters. The opinions that matter most to me are those of my best friends, my family, my husband. If they were to make a criticism about me, I would take it seriously because they know me through and through. By and large, blog readers only get a very small snippet of your life and who you are and can therefore make criticisms based on very little information about your life. I'd much rather listen to critiques from people who know me intimately than from people who have never met me.
6. Think about the ratio of uplifting to rude comments. Chances are, your comments are probably 99% uplifting and positive and 1% rude, mean, and critical. If you look at it that way, the most likely scenario is that someone just doesn't "get" you, or they're just having a terrible day and have decided to take it out on you randomly. We focus so much on mean comments because they take us so much by surprise, but go back and look through all the beautiful, positive comments you get-- that's what matters.
7. Haters gonna hate. I don't get it either, but there are some people out there who just want to spread negativity. Their mean comments say more about their unhappiness and jealousy than they do about you and your blog.
8. Laugh it off. Honestly most of the rude or meanspirited comments I see make me chuckle because they're so off-the-rocker ridiculous and hilarious.
Something that you might have come across in blogging or in being a blog reader is online forums, totally separate from a blog, devoted to hating on and bashing that blog. Because those forums aren't on your site there's really no way to police it, and people can run rampant with their comments, opinions, and plain old hateful vitriol directed at you, your loved ones, and your blog. There's really not much you can do about these forums except decide how you're going to handle it.
My personal rule is that I will never not ever not in a million years go to any forum about me or my blog. There is nothing on any of those forums that would be useful for me to know. In fact, the only thing on those forums is a gateway to self doubt, depression, and anxiety. I want no part of any of those things. I want no part of knowing what half truths or unkind opinions people have directed towards me. I doesn't do me an ounce of good to read anything on those forums. If you're worried about libel or just want to keep tabs on what's being said without actually having to read it, hire a lawyer to occasionally read it, or have a trusted friend do it. I suggest not having a parent or significant other do it, though, because it'll be hurtful for them to read people saying those things about you too. My husband can't read those forums because he knows it will make him angry and sad and want to punch ever single one of the commenters. I don't even read the forums about other bloggers because reading the things people say about them reminds me of the things they say about me, and it makes me sad to read what people are saying about people I truly love, care for, and admire.
So decide for yourself what you're going to do if forums start discussing you and your blog. I have a 100%-never-go-there policy that I haven't broken in years. Figure out how you can handle it for yourself and stick to it.
BONUS: Create a working environment
Guest: Tieka, Selective Potential
A working environment is a huge deal when you have a blog! More than likely, you'll be working from home a lot and you need to set aside the distractions that might come from working at home. Create a little corner, clear off a desk, set up at the kitchen table… whatever it is, make sure you have a special working environment that suits your needs.
Personal story: When my blog was really starting to take off last March, I was overwhelmed! I had sponsors to track, packages arriving in the mail that were piling up in the corner of my office, papers to put away, envelopes and shipping materials I needed to organize, cards, jewelry samples, beauty samples, etc, etc, etc… all just piling up! I needed some major help. So… I took a little nook in our recreation room and created my very own blog studio. I know, silly right? But it's been a huge help in my productivity since I furnished and organized it. I went to IKEA and purchased some very inexpensive items (I'll talk more about soon!) and created my own little nook! I love going back there and when I'm back there… I know I'm in blog mood. Plus, I have everything I need at my fingertips (plus it's SO cute! I love showing it off!)
Steps to take to create a working environment:
- Find your space. Find a space in your home you can set aside for a work-space. Like I said, it can be a small desk in the corner, a mini end table inside a closet, whatever it is… find a space that will work for you. I'm lucky enough to have a little nook in our recreation room that I devoted completely to my blog studio.
- EMPTY your space. Huh? Seriously. Empty it. Bare. Nada. Zip. It is so helpful to see the area alone, with no clutter, nothing. That way you can map out where everything will need to go! (Plus it's a great opportunity to clean from top to bottom!)
- Furnish. You'll need a tabletop or desktop of some sort! That way you'll have your computer in one spot, along with sticky-notes, books that are of importance and anything you'll need on a daily basis. I also included an enclosed shelf where I can store giveaway items, samples that I throw into packages and other miscellaneous items I might need. I also have a filing cabinet full of cards, papers I need to store and a pen drawer for all of my writing utensils and supplies. Include a comfy item for visitors. I purchased a cute chair from IKEA with a footstool, but it can be something as simple as a floor pillow or bean bag. Plus, if you're flipping through magazines or need a comfy place to think, you'll have it right there.
- Purge. Before placing anything into your space, think about it. Are you putting a box in your space that hasn't been sifted through? It's full of old dust bunnies and calculators that don't work? Get rid of those items! If you know you're not going to use it, now is the perfect time to sift through everything and figure out what you need and don't need to keep.
- Organize. Purchase some inexpensive file storage. I have boxes, magazine files and binders to store all of my papers, envelopes, you name it. Tip: Find ones with a place to label the box! My most used boxes are: shipping materials, envelopes and letters I've received in the mail from readers/friends/bloggers.
- Lighting. If you're working on your computer a lot, you're going to want to avoid bright lights if you can. It strains your eyes to have too much light while you're trying to look at your computer screen, so try to place a nice warm-light. I have two lamps in my studio… a table top one and a paper lantern. They are both very warm and it's cozy and inviting to be there at night, reading blogs and catching up on emails.
- Decorate. You'll want to add personal touches to your space! Include pictures frames, quotes, inspiration, magazine rip-outs, whatever makes you happy. When you are stressed and trying to get through a hundred emails, you can look up at something… be inspired and get right back to work. I keep a magazine rack so I can stop what I'm working on, get into my cozy chair and read a magazine. I also have a magnet board where I can rip out magazine spreads or print off pictures from the web and put up on my inspiration board. Whenever I can't find an outfit or need something to inspire me, I refer to my magnet board. It's a huge help!
- Make life easy. Is there something you use every single day? Keep it out! You don't have to have a perfectly organized and clean space. Every single week I need the address directory for the Delightful Dozen. So, I printed out the address directory which is on a cute map and framed it by my desk! I refer to it daily and so not only does it work in a functional-way but also an aesthetic way! I'm also constantly using my calculator, so I keep it out and don't put it away. I also keep a cup full of things I need constantly instead of putting them into a drawer. My cup contains my favorite pens, a ruler, scissors, you name it.
- Keep your space cozy. For me, that means the lighting is right, there are no crumbs on the carpet and things are organized. If something bugs you… like how too much natural light comes in through the window, purchase an inexpensive pair of blinds! Keeping your space cozy and up-to-par will encourage you to continue to visit the space and maintain the space. The more time you spend in your space, the better it will become.
Now go.. create your space! Enjoy!!
BLOGGING 101: LESSONS LEARNED
In March of 2012 I attend the Texas Style Council conference, and I thought it'd be cool to go through some of the questions we were asked in my panel– Blogging Lessons Learned. Plus, writing responses to these questions is nicer than answering on the spot, since there's more time to really think hard about the answers, rather than answering immediately with a microphone & huge crowd in front of me. These great questions were written up by the moderator of our panel, Molly from Smart, Pretty, and Awkward. You can find video of all the panels at LiveLifeinStyleBlog's youtube channel and I put the panel I was on to the bottom of this post if you want to watch.
1. Starting at the beginning: when did you begin blogging, and how do you think your blog has changed since then?
I started blogging in 2008, mostly because I'd just discovered style blogs and thought they looked really fun and inspiring and I wanted to be a part of the community. I was in college at the time and it was nice to have a creative outlet and be inspired by all the cool girls I came across in the blogging world. My blog has changed a bit since then, mostly following the changes in my life, from college student to living back at home with my family and working, to my winne trip, to moving to Tacoma and getting married. I've never felt like my content has necessarily stuck to one thing. While my main content has always been outfits, I've also always thrown in some DIY and recipe posts, and even outfit post text is usually just about my life.
2. Building off that, how do you think the blogging community as a whole has changed since then?
I think nowadays the blogging community is much larger and established than it was when I started. It's kind of a double edged sword for those getting into it now. There are more resources, but at the same time, there are thousands of blogs out there trying to make it, which might make it more difficult to find your niche amongst it all. I think the blogging community as a whole, though, has always been very supportive and friendly, and continues to be.
3. What was the most difficult stage you went through when building your blog? What advice would you give to someone going through a similar stage?
I think it was hard growing my blog initially. I think a lot of bloggers also feel like their blogs are growing very slowly and feel like it should be growing faster, but I've learned that, at least for myself, growth is a very slow process, and requires hard work and consistency. It can be easy to get down on yourself, but once you realize that it's very rare for a blog to rocket to success within a few months, you can start focusing on making your blog the best it can be for you.
4. Do you ever look back on a post and ask “what was I thinking!?” Is there any topic or event you later wished you had wrote about differently?
I actually don't. I think this is probably because, like I said before, my blog has mostly just followed my life, so I like looking back on all my old posts, even if the photos are bad, or I don't like the outfit. When I see the photos I remember where I was that day or what I was doing. It's neat to see how I've changed and grown through looking at old posts.
I think the answer to this is the same as above. I've only deleted a couple posts, but for different reasons, and usually very soon after posting them. I've never gone back later and deleted a post. Also, I've gotten quite a few emails from people who've gone back and read my blog from the beginning, and I think it's cool that you can do that. It gives people a fuller look at you and your blog story, and people can see where you started! Everyone starts somewhere, and I know the beginning of mine wasn't much to write home about!
6. Has anyone in your life ever gotten upset that you wrote about them on your blog? Did you or would you ask permission from people before posting about them?
I don't think I've ever had this problem. All of my family loves reading my blog (including my grandma!) and have been on it from time to time. Some of my friends have made appearances too, and they've always been excited to be on the blog, so so far I've not had any issues with this. I think if there was ever a time when I wasn't sure if someone would be cool about me posting photos of them/writing about them I would definitely ask permission.
7. What advice would you give to bloggers who want to start writing more personal posts but don't know how to handle other people in their lives' privacy level?
I guess asking is a good idea. And finding your own personal comfortability with how much you share. For me it's a no-brainer. It doesn't even enter my mind to post things that would be too personal. Not that I don't occasionally get very real here on the blog, but at the same time, my blog is mostly a place for positivity. I know a lot of bloggers feel the same way– we don't necessarily want to post about the shitty day we had, or the fight with our boyfriend/spouse, or the bills we just had to pay. For myself, blogging is a place for inspiration. We all have enough stuff in our lives bringing us down. I want my blog to have a mostly positive tone, while at the same time being real. It's a balance that I think is a very personal thing to find. No one can tell you how much is too much or too little to share, it's a balance that you have to find yourself.
8. Did you ever have a difficult situation with a reader or a commenter? How did you handle it, and would you do it the same way next time?
Definitely. When I get comments that aren't very nice or flat out rude, I try to (after the initial reaction of shock, hurt, anger, etc) evaluate the comment for validity. Some comments are just crazy trolls who just leave random mean comments that have nothing to do with you or anything you do. But sometimes, behind a rude tone, the person has a point that can be addressed and can even spark some introspection. I know I got a mean comment that once said that my blog wasn't as good as it used to be when I was in Alaska. I started to think about all the changes in my life that had occurred since moving out of Anchorage to the Lower 48 and it inspired me to write a post about how my life had changed in the past year. Their comment wasn't very nice, but it did make me think about the changes in my life and how those changes affected my blog.
I think the most important thing when it comes to receiving mean comments is to let them roll off you and move on. Don't start second guessing yourself, don't start internalizing that person's words, don't let the haters get you down! Haha. And always remember that for every one mean comment or rude person who comments on your blog, they are far outweighed by the people who come to your blog to be inspired, people who love what you post and who matter so much more.
9. From a technical perspective, was anything an unexpected technical challenge that you wished you had done differently? What have you redesigned or changed since you started your blog, and why? (Nav bars, logos, headers, etc.)
I'm a big graphic design geek, so the first thing I did when I started my blog was customize the layout. I googled something like, "vintage blogger template" found a template that looked good and made myself a pretty header. I think the biggest challenge, over the years, has been learning how to tweak my layout with HTML. It's taken hours of googling tutorials and so many trial and error tests to learn how to make my blog do what I want it to. I'm still no HTML buff, but by now I know enough that I can almost do whatever I want, and if I don't know how to do it, I can pretty much guarantee that google can find me a tutorial that tells me how to do it.
I've redesigned everything on my blog since I started. I actually had the original background on my blog until just a few months ago and finally let that go (I'm a bit too sentimental with stuff like that, I think). I've gone from two columns to three, changed my header probably 5 times, added a nav bar, added a custom post title font, added intensedebate commenting, changed the background, changed the background color of my columns, etc, etc. I think blog design is super important, as it's the very first thing that people see. I almost guarantee you that if your design is really bad, they probably won't even stay to see what you're posting about. Luckily, if HTML is just way to crazy for you or you don't have time, there are a lot of freelance designers out there who will help you out! I know that Kaelah does blog design, I think Liz from SRSLYLIZ does freelance design, and Freckled Nest Design does blog design almost exclusively. Or you could purchase a cute premade template like the ones Sillygrrl makes!
10. What is the key to correcting a blogging regret or mistake--from something as small as a post typo to a failed brand collaboration?
I think being humble and honest is important. Not everything you do is going to be awesome or turn out perfectly like you envisioned. Sometimes things happen, and it's best to just move on and be gracious about the situation.
11. On the flip side, can you share a blog situation or event that you are proud of how you handled yourself?
I feel like, for the most part, I've handled mean comments relatively well. As well as one can when being lambasted by faceless, anonymous mean people via the internet. I won't tell you it's not hard to be hit with a mean comment as you're happy-go-luckily scrolling through comments, but I'm getting better at it (I hope!). I didn't deal with "mean girls" in junior high and high school (which is when most people get a crash course in such things), so dealing with "haters" and trolls is sort of a new thing for me, but it really makes me want to uplift other women and create positivity all the more! I know that the opinions that really matter are those people who know me and see me in real life, and who know who I am in a more holistic way. As much as it feels like you may know a blogger from reading their blog, I can guarantee that you only get a snippit of their life. I don't think most bloggers intentionally try to mislead readers into thinking they live a certain way, it's just that blogging can only really give you so much insight into someone's life, and to make assumptions based on that little amount of information is generally a bad idea.
12. What was the most rewarding event that has come from the successes of your blog?
I think being able to work from home had been my favorite thing so far. It's so nice to be able to set my own hours and have the time to be creative. That, and all the awesome people I've met through blogging. It's so crazy that, thanks to the internet, you can be friends with people you've never met IRL from all over the world! Events like TxSC and NYFW are fun simply because it's an excuse to get together with all these amazing folks you don't get to see in "real life."
Onwards and upwards. As the news and magazine industries scramble to move online, I think bloggers have a leg up on the online world. I've already seen tons of bloggers getting jobs in social media and writing for online magazines and working for companies because of their internet prowess. It's exciting! Blogging used to be this thing where people thought you just sat in your bed in your PJs with crumbs all around you hunched over your computer, but really it's a thriving industry that has really become a huge part of our culture! Okay, sometimes we do sit in bed in our PJs with crumbs around, but still...
14. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned about blogging? Is there an overall lesson we could take from this panel or this conference?
As rudimentary as it sounds, stay true to yourself, I think is what I've learned most from blogging and I think was definitely a focus at TxSC. Nobody can be as good at being you as you can, and in a sea of blogs trying to "make it," what sets yours apart is YOU. You have a unique voice, a unique viewpoint, a unique style. Trying to be someone else will just make you a second rate version of them, instead, try your hardest to be a first-rate version of yourself!
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